Columbus provided boys with bohemia,
changing grammar and the modern novel.
The failure of his academic career
didn’t result from alcohol abuse
or the poor quality of his teaching
but his inability to remember.
He was honest but also evasive,
did what the system required
yet seemed unable to see for real,
until 1965, when he wondered if
he could crawl as far as the phone.
He was an oh-so-beautiful mix-master
and is said to have done a lot for
wildwater tourism and his lost sons.
Narcissism, trauma, breakdown and death,
death, death, death, death, death.
Be as personal and wayward as you like
but this is a theme that we can’t ignore:
we all need to learn to crop our pictures
and become film-star handsome.
With the correct result you can do anything,
and I shall, if I can get a word in edgeways.
© Rupert M Loydell
Illustration: Claire Palmer